Right now, my mind state is irrational
I think back
but my past circulates around you
all the pictures
that I’ve deleted from my cell phone
i wish there was a button for my heart
but that’s a ‘well, no’
on second thought
this was crafted from our innocence
been friends for so long
this goes back to our youth
you exemplified
what a real centered sister was
i never thought twice
liked or even pictured love
walks around the lake take this pass
let it go once dinner
by the beach treat this season
like a cold front my heartstrings
stayed protected
when i played it slowly
we grew closer
but in truth this was still platonic
i never thought about
the future or the stage that it set
the page that was next checked
this was based in respect
until emotions started rushing it in
falling for one of my best friends
is this how it begins
Whenever I close my eyes
I picture you I’m saying
‘good-bye’ I slip, I trip I fall
I cannot stop no, not at all
Baby now can’t you stay
Maybe we could make a way
Whats love that’s
the question that I ponder on
jamming out to Chaka Khan
head bob’n I nod along so
If I’m wrong let it go by
and then pass me I stay
lost to distract me I want her like
I’m Gatsby
But I know that It’s poison
and it’s eating my soul so
If i take another swig
then i could die from it
give me the bottle
of heartbreaks anonymous
I take shots to swallow
with my flesh bones and cartilage
but I don’t sink see I’m thinking
in blots how many times
have I thought
that this train gotta stop
but it wont why Guess
I’m addicted to pain i know
that It’s not good
but It’s sort of engrained in my mind
so when i say
no my whole life’s in reversal
and when i walk it’s like
I’m standing in place
how many times have I seen
this the cycle ensues
I’m lost and I kinda like it
cause the ending is youooh
Whenever I close my eyes
I picture you
I’m saying ‘good-bye’
I slip, I trip, I fall
I cannot stop no not at all
Baby now can’t you stay
Maybe we could make a way
I see a screen and the
whole play’s a rehearsal
the lights flash in a circle
and I’m feeling the chills
I got flashbacks to train tracks
laid in Washington
I play back those late snacks
matching cardigans trapped
Inside a dream like this whole thing
was imagined
So when I wake up my picture’s
still of you See every time
That I hear your voice
name or reminisce on the places
We’ve been to it
makes me feel like we’re through
So when I walk its like
I’m taking on the both of us
Hope, dreams and the scope of us
Same team but im over us
So I dont think about the big house
and the kids all the great things
that we did that might impact how I live
cause you’re gone
And I’m tried of steady
blaming myself
matter of fact
I’m tired of blame in itself
this is love It’s a train
that I’m taking every time
I’m a passenger my
mindstate is Lavender
Whenever I close my eyes
I picture you
I’m saying ‘good bye’
I slip, I trip, I fall
I cannot stop no, not at all
Baby now can’t you stay
Maybe we could make a way
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