☆ All About That Bass(2014)-1

Because this song’s all about being big, suck a dick thin people
If you are super thin super thin you’re evil
This catchy tune’s message should have been we’re equal
But it shames thin women, thin women
Yeah it’s kind of clear I like to eat food
But I can write big hit songs and I can sing em too
I see these skinny girls that get super famous
So I say hey why not Meghan Trainor?
I talk like I am black even though I am white
I lived in the suburbs I’ve had a perfect life
Still there’s one thing bugs me I don’t know why
But when I see good-looking skinny people I think they should die
Yeah, my mama she told me don’t worry about your size
But when I see thin women I want to gouge out their eyes
Gouge out their eyeballs
Gouge out their eyeballs
When I hear Gwyneth Paltrow say oh my god I feel so fat
I want to beat in her pretty face with a baseball bat
Woah!
Now all five of us will do this dumb dance this dumb dance
We’re dancing.
These girls need haircuts bad really bad
We can’t see
Meghan give me a chance just one chance to rest please
I hired you to dance damnit dance!
I’m bringin booty back
Booty never left that statement is trash!
Wow, I’m just playing, don’t hate me cause I’m fat!
You’re actually normal.
Every inch of you is perfect, stop acting like a victim!
Yeah my mama she told me that being big is sexy
And that it turns on men which totally validates me
Makes me feel pretty, makes me feel pretty
I thought this song was supposed to be bout loving you for you
It is
Then why are you basing you self worth off of pleasing dudes?
Now let me reiterate it again if you’re think you’re a bitch
That’s totally not true and completely mindless
I’m actually on my way to help the homeless
Nice try but that can’t be you’re skinny
Meghan your single “All About That Bass” is a hit!
It’s platinum!
It’s time to lose some weight for your next pop anthem.
But I’m about that bass and that means I’m curvy
That’s why everyone like bout this song.
Now Meghan do you wanna be a star or a one-hit wonder?
If you don’t lose some weight that would be a blunder
To help you get in shape we’ve brought in a trainer
It’s time to get you ripped! Let’s do this!
Burn The Bass!
Hi, I’m Tony Horton creator of P90X and I got a brand new program for slightly over weight pop stars to go from Bass to Treble in just 90 seconds, it’s called TREBLE90X – BURN THE BASS – BURN IT!
I’m burning it!
Louder now!
Burn the Bass!
Yeah, your momma might of told you don’t worry about your size but in this cut throat industry eh your mamma don’t know shit.
Baby – nice!
Oh that’s sexy stuff right there.
I used to be all about that bass – bout that bass, no treble. But now thanks to Treble90X I am so all about that Treble.
I was just hating on skinny bitches because I was jelous. Now I am one.
It worked for Meghan and I know it will work for you too. So get off your pop star ass and call now.
TREBLE90X
ONLY 16 PAYMENTS OF
39.99!
CALL NOW!
1-555-POOP-FAT
SIDE EFFECTS OF TREBLE90X MAY INCLUDE PENILE HEMMOROIDS, VAGINAL FATIGUE, AND MOST CASES DEATH.
TO order your copy of TREBLE90X call 1-555-POOP-FAT that’s
1-555 P.O.O.P. F.A.T.
Make sure to consult your closest physician if you experience any signs of uncontrollable pooping, sneezing, wheezing, rashing, heaving, dancing, prancing whining, or singing crappy self righteous pop songs about random shit you think about while sitting at home on a Saturday night.
I KNOW YOU WANNA BURN THE BASS – COME ON NOW!