Target (+) Please Love Me

Target ☆ Please Love Me

My Legs
(Holmes)

Prince Charles: And now, the British premier of
‘My Legs’ by Ken and Ron Sex Bachelor.

Narrator: Mice.  The hall was dark and rubbery,
Fezzit is waiting for a likely young chicken to drop in a lake.
But Bernie doesn’t believe this and quickly woofs.
Meanwhile, Shelat and Target are destined by a huge cat.

Bernie: Crikey, you lot, am I all?

Derek Guyler: The gun is above me head

Narrator: Then Berny rushes naked into the pre-heated oven.

Target: There’s a false lady outside selling pyjamas. What
shall I tell her?

Olive out of On The Buses: Please will you coat my legs?

Target: Lock me up, baby.

Johnny McDozenlegs: Ask if she’s tepid, do.

Bernie: Yes, do.

Richard Wattis: Yes, do.

Dr Wizzy: Yes, do.

Sid James: Yes, do.

Monica Rose: Yes, do.

Esma Cannon: Yes, do.

Joyce Grenfell: Yes, do! Yes,yes, do!

Peggy Mount: Am I shiny enough yet?

Shelat: Is there a long pipe in the house?

Narrator: For a while, all was silent. Until…

Anne Aston: Oh, look! I whopped my big kidneys out for all to see.

All: Ooooh…

Bernie(the bolt): Do not say “Oooh.”

All: No, we shall not say “Oooh.”

Bernie: No! Never say “Oooh!”

Dr Wizzy: If only Lieutenant Uhuhu was here. She wouldn’t
say “Oooh.”

Charles Hawtrey: Love. Love my dire native.

Karen Carpenter: Carry me to Zimbabwe, me lovely fishes.

Susan Dropweewee: Soon me cannelloni is ‘tween me legs.

All (singing): “Cause we couldn’t

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