Gwen Stefani ☆ Obsessed

Billy built a robot in his parent’s garage,
because he had a list of problems that he needed to solve.
He said, “I’m sick of the Hills, Laguna Beach is fake and whack.
Let’s party like it’s ’96 and bring the horn section back.”

Back before Gwen Stefani started rapping with Pharrell.
Gas cost $1.15 and Goldfinger could sell.
When reality TV wasn’t scripted or contrived.
The brass was phat and bumpin’ and the beats were all played live.

See, Billy was obsessed with 3rd wave ska.
The Mighty Bosstones, Reel Big Fish, Less Than Jake, he’d seen them all.
He longed for a time when even Bill Clinton played the sax,
on the white house lawn, and kids wore shades and checkered slacks.

So Billy sits back
In the class and labs.
Put a notebook on his lap.
‘Cuz he plans a task
to make a giant robot.
How’s that?
And bring the real Orange County back.

This gigantic robot kills.
He’s gonna come down the block, he’s gonna fire at will.
He’s got a cannon on his shoulder and a laser in his hand.
He’s gonna win the day for Billy, make the city understand.

The robot was completed and it opened up its eyes,
weighing 700 pounds, and standing 8 foot 5.
With his black coat, white shoes, black hat, set to attack,
the robot headed to the hills to give those spoiled kids a smack.

Christoph Leary got knocked flat
as Billy bumped the Aquabats.
He ripped out Mischa Barton’s spine
to crank Save Ferris and Sublime.
He burnt down Heidi Montag’s home
and to blast the OC Supertones.
His scream was smashing LC’s head.
Ska is not dead.

This gigantic robot kills.
He’s gonna come down the block, he’s gonna fire at will.
He’s blasting bullets from his elbows, shooting missiles from his eyes.
He’s gonna win the day for Billy, take the OC by surprise.

He’ll make you do the macerena
as you rock your Tamagachi,
with your Newton down in Woodstock,
playing Sega la-di-da-di.
He brought the 90’s back,
and then he freed Tibet.
If you can’t find his jam on Napster then the warehouse sells cassettes.
(Old school)

Gigantic (he was)
Gigantic (this robot)
Gigantic (so very)
Gigantic (ska robot)

Ska is not dead.

—————–
This Gigantic Robot Kills
MC Lars Horris