Set fire to your hair
Poke a stick at a grizzly bear
Eat medicine that’s out of date
Use your private parts as piranha bait
[Refrain:]
Dumb ways to die
So many dumb ways to die
Dumb ways to di-ie-ie
So many dumb ways to die
Get your toast out with a fork
Do your own electrical work
Teach yourself how to fly
Eat a two-week-old un-refrigerated pie
[Refrain]
Invite a psycho-killer inside
Scratch a drug dealer’s brand new ride
Take your helmet off in outer space
Use a clothes dryer as a hiding place
[Refrain]
Keep a rattlesnake as a pet
Sell both your kidneys on the Internet
Eat a tube of superglue
I wonder, what’s this red button do?
[Refrain]
Dress up like a moose during hunting season
Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason
Stand on the edge of a train station platform
Drive around the boom gates at a level crossing
Run across the tracks between the platforms
They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly
The dumbest ways to die
The dumbest ways to die
The dumbest ways to di-ie-ie-ie
So many dumb
So many dumb ways to die
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